Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"I am right, you are wrong..."

I am sure many of you have felt like you were right and others were wrong or maybe you had someone close to you tell you that you were wrong and they were right. It seems like a never ending battle that lends itself to casualties of war...

Relationships, in my opinion, have never ending conflict - good or bad. Conflict is generally viewed as bad to some people, but it doesn't have to be. There are a couple of key things to remember during conflict. (drum roll please)    The term.....Naive Realism.

Naive Realism is a social psych term that means each person believes they see the world how it truly is. Everyone has a perception of the world and in their opinion they have the correct version.

What does this mean? How can it help?

In regards to relationship with your dad or anyone else, remember when they tell their opinion on a matter (unless they state they are open) they truly believe what they think is the correct answer to life. **It's okay to disagree** however, the point where conflict turns from good to bad is when the feeling (perception) of attack happens. I think it is natural to become defensive when you hear someone implement you are wrong and they are right. But keep your cool, because now you know they see the world how it is ;) and you see the world how it really is. This is the point of difference. It is good to hear other people's opinions about their perception of the world... it might change yours or help you understand where they are coming from.

Try not to jump the gun and defend yourself but listen with an open ear. Some people might be stubborn and don't want to hear your opinion because it is different than yours. Keep calm and make a decision to speak or not to speak. Sometimes actions can be better than words. Live out your belief to change someone's perception more than just telling them your opinion (as long as it lines up with the word of God!)

I believe [and I am right ;)] that knowing about naive realism can help people communicate and listen to each other better. Give it a try.... it's helped me.

Encouragement of the day: James 1:19 "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" (english standard version) Really listen to what others are saying. They will see your authenticity and it will draw them to God. It will help flourish communication and relationships. Trust is developed when you can openly express your opinions to someone without defense. Be that for someone. This can especially be used if there was an argument in your family...everyone has a different perception of what happened.

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